The prophecy of the dragonland.
| Autor: | Darcen |
|---|---|
| Přidáno: | |
| Hlasovalo: | 12 |
there was a peace and freedom,
and man for man was a friend,
it was very peacefull kingdom.
From one dark and fately day,
it became to be blown,
and all citizens prayed a pray,
now it is a land deadly nown.
The tyrant of this lonely nation,
was one mighty dragon.
From dragoncave came fear and torture,
The dragon spout lighting and fire.
It came many heroes from other lands,
to have a dragonheart in their hands.
This cave was the cradle of torture,
the prophets didn’t see a future.
The tark prophecy has been told,
it’ll come darknees and cold,
The dragon has come and fear is here,
I have a dream, I have seen it clear.
Preklad:
Proroctvo dračej krajiny
V jednej slávnej a starovekej krajne,
bol mier a sloboda,
a človek človeku bol priateľom,
Bolo to veľmi mierumilovné kráľovstvo.
V jeden temný a osudný deň,
malo biť zničené,
a všetci občania sa modlili,
Teraz je tá krajina známa ako smrtonosná.
Tyran tohto osamelého národa,
bol jeden mocný drak.
Z dračej jaskyne prišiel strach a utrpenie.
drak chrlil blesky a oheň.
Prišlo veľa hrdinov s iných krajín,
mať dračie srdce v ich rukách.
Táto jaskyňa bola kolískou utrpenia,
proroci nevideli budúcnosť.
Temné proroctvo bolo vyrieknuté,
príde temnota a chlad.
drak prišiel a strach je tu,
mal som sen, videl som ho čisto.
Diskuze
muhahahahaháá. To je dobrý!!! No přběh je dobrý, ale neporozumněl jsem pár věcem...třetí odstavec ... se nějak nerýmuje. Mohlo to být napsané líp.
Muhuhahahahaháá. That's good, man!!! Well the story is, but i didn't understand some things ... the third rubic is ... well it is not poemic. It should be wrote better.
Mgr. Holger: dobrá trefa +1 repka
olwin
I learn english only five year on school.
Myslím, že jde o průměrné dílko, anglický text hodnotit nebudu, neb nejsem dobrým angličtinářem, jen by mne zajímalo, proč se vážení diskutéři, angličtí exhibicionisté, také stejně vehementně nepředvádějí ve slovenštině.
3* All what I want to say, was said by Tolwyn and Galadar.
Hmm....how long have you been learning english? I already wrote something about your first poem, and this one isn't much better...If you§re only beginning with english then the result is quite good, but to be great, you need to read a lot of books, as Galadar said, if you practice your english maybe once you§ll be able to write a good poem, but for now...an englishman would have problems understanding it, even I had some.....and I speak english since when Iwas four years old :-)
Well... what to say... It´s really hard to compose poems in a foreign language unless you´ve read a lot of books (and also poetry) in that particular speech. In other words, it all depends on vocabulary, even if you compose in your native language. I tried to do something similar a long time before, but when I saw it recently all again, it seemed to me like... well nothing good to say :) So I gave up these experiments...
There is no point in pointing out mistakes in your english. More important is that it simply doesn´t soud like poetry... it completey lacks the "luxuriant" vocabulary and phrases... even the point seemes to be somehow simple, maybe overshadowed by the fact, that it´s in english...
I don´t want to make decisions for you, but in my opinion you should not waste your talent on this... try rather something in your own language.
This one´s not completely bad, better than the last one for sure, but still I can´t give you more than 3* for another try...
Myslím,že by stálo za to, zveršovat i tu překladovou část, takhle to vypadá jak takové odbyté... i když to si ani v nejmenším nemyslím. Jinak angličtinu nehodnotím, protože jsem jaksi angličtinově nenadaná:))). Takže 3*